so it is kinda happening

so i tried snowboarding yesterday.  i majorly sucked at it.  in a class of 4 first timers i was way at the bottom that i could not even go up on the mountain.  i was just scared.  but i tried it.  i am proud of myself for trying to do it.  i am unsure if i will try again this season since it is expensive and far away and i have a lot going on in march then i will be away in april which is the end of the season.
my working out is going much better.  i am still not really losing weight but my trainer that i have now is much better then the last one that i had.  he is very understanding.  he has put on a plan to do more cardio and less weights to concentrate on my weight loss so i might not ever get to the body i shape i would like to be but i am making some progress now since i was not making any before.
no new friends though.  i am not sure how to make those.

i suck at resolutions

so i am still on my way toward meeting new people.  i went out last night with a new group the same that i went out with to vancouver.  i have been meeting with my personal trainer and have a new work out regimine.  he told me to stop doing weights so often and do more cardio that i like so i am swimming and doing zumba plus i am running in the morning.  i missed doing snowshoeing though because i did not have snow pants.  i tried to buy some and was frustrated that i was too fat for most of them.  but hopefully i will buy some this week and go snowshoeing next week.

horrible work out week

I did not accomplish any resolutions this week except i hung out with a new person.  my neighbour invited me for dinner.  it was good so i am thinking that counts as meeting new people.  everything else sucked.

those crappy resolutions

so how many people really keep to resolutions.  i did okay for the first week.
I did not keep the workout regimen.  i only worked out 4 times and then did not keep the hour long cardio.  it is so boring to do an hour of cardio.  maybe this week i will do better.  i hope so.
I did not get outdoors.  i am making plans to go out doors in the next few weeks though so I am counting that as working on that resolution.
I did have lunch with a coworker and I went to a meetup on Friday night to meet people.  So I am doing outstanding on that resolution.  i am very proud of myself there.

hopefully i will do better with the workout resolution this week since i am way too fat and not the cool phat kind either.

my new years resolutions

I need resolutions that I can actually stick with so I am going to try some.  I have been doing groups at work: the inpatient psychaitry ward making the patients make goals for themselves for the new year about behaviours they would like to change.  So now is the practitioners chance to do the same:

1. I need friends in Seattle so once a week I have to do something social with someone new.  this could be going to lunch with a coworker or going to a new meetup event on my own.  I need to stop going to stuff on my own.

2. I need to lose weight so I need to stick to my working out.  I need to go to the gym 5 days a week, with half hour of weight lifting and one hour of cardio.  Part of the problem is that I am so tired all the time so I need to see the doctor to get some sleep medication since nothing over the counter seems to be working for me.

3. I would like to be outdoors more.  I love being outdoors.  Once a month I need to do an outdoors activity.  It can be hiking, snowshoeing, sledding, whatever I choose to do.

those are three very acheiveable goals for myself.  I need to blog once  a week to say how I am keeping up with the activities since i have a difficult time keeping committment.

cheers to the new year.

tired of justifying my choices

i am 34 and not married without kids.  that does not mean i don't want a husband/partner or kids.  it means it has not happened for me.  why do i have to justify my life choices to everyone everyday.  i am so tired of it.  i would like to have kids....maybe and i would like to have a long term partner, but i am not going to the sperm bank or just getting pregnant to have kids on my own.  if you wanted to do that with your life...that is fine.  i have no problem with that, but i am not a bad person because i lived my life different then yours.  i am tired of explaining every day at work.  when people say i am so maternal and i should be a mum.  fucking fantastic.  i would like to, but i don;t want to just go and get pregnant just to have a kid by myself.  i don't want to.  i don't want to.  why should i have to justify it to everyone. every day.  leave me the fuck alone.  let me do my work.  let me live my single life.  it is okay that your life is different then mine.  i am okay with it.  please leave me alone about mine.  i don't understand why i have to tell everyone why i don't have kids.  it is no one elses business.  LEAVE ME ALONE.  i guess i will never get that.  no one is going to leave me go about it.

Working on ME!ME!ME!

I am tired of the run around with dating so I am dedicating this time until my birthday to me.  I have signed up with a personal trainer to get my body looking more the way I like it.  I have also cut out a few people that were not the healthiest part of my life.  I am also trying to set up some trips so I can travel.  I think I might be getting an offer of a permanent position with the government and I am wondering if they will let me put a month between when my contract ends and when I actually start my job.  I doubt it, but I can dream it might happen so I can spend that month traveling.